Do You Really Believe in Love at First Sight?

By Neeti Paul Sethi

Have you ever met someone and instantly hit it off with them, or felt like you have known them forever?

On the other hand, how often have you felt repulsed by someone or experienced unexplained anger towards them?

Apart from genuinely liking or disliking the person, there can be more to this. Sometimes we instantly know whether or not we like them. That’s our gut guiding us, acting as our second brain. But this article is not about following the gut to choose the right people (or maybe it is). It’s about understanding why we feel drawn to certain people and draw a blank with others.

There might be several reasons to explain our response to certain people but I am not about to list them. Instead, I am here to share my theory as someone who loves to delve, dream, and attempt to look beyond the normal vision.

Imagine growing up with your best friend next door. But you weren’t best friends on day one, were you? Over the years you did everything together and developed a connection that is hard to replicate. There’s familiarity, comfort, and trust. Eventually, your paths separate and you aren’t in touch as much as you were. Now, you go out and try to make new friends but your benchmark remains your best friend. How’s that fair? You are not even giving anybody a chance, even yourself, to see if there is anyone else better suited for you or good enough to be an addition to your circle. People can’t be the same. Just because you liked one version doesn’t mean you will hate the other. Just because you are habitual in seeking the comfort you find in your best friend and feel that no one will understand you the way they do, doesn’t mean no one has the potential to. Either you do not like the other person for a specific reason or you haven’t spent enough time knowing them and are chasing an impossible benchmark of developing an instant connection. You may think that you are doing yourself a favor by setting impossible standards to be your friend. But you refuse to see what’s out there before deciding what’s best for you? All your friends need not be the best, at least not on day one.

Now, when your childhood best friend returns to the picture, you instantly pick up from where you left.  Not because you have an instant connection, but because you have history. For all you know, you may have outgrown each other and have different interests now. But familiarity and comfort may prevent you from seeing that.

Some souls connect instantly because they have had previous interactions, in this life or another lifetime. Yes, I believe in past lives and I believe that soul groups reincarnate together. This means you do not just have a soul mate but an entire group of souls with tied karma. I don’t think anyone just connects randomly. They have most likely invested in the relationship in the past. That’s why new relationships may feel different as a person may not feel instantly connected or understood because they are yet to spend that much time and energy on each other. It doesn’t mean you are incapable of connecting deeply with someone if you haven’t bonded immediately. It just means that your souls are literally interacting for the first time and haven’t recognized each other from the past and it’s okay. You don’t need to ‘click’ instantly with everyone. You need to build new connections as much as you need to revive old ones. I personally find new connections so refreshing. They usually come without baggage or unaddressed karma.  

As long as you don’t feel uncomfortable or repulsed by someone’s energy, you can work on building a connection. If you do not find their energy uplifting and nurturing, and feel that it’s draining you instead, you have every reason to get rid of them.

But sometimes it’s not your choice, you are meant to connect with them, even if they are not good for your energy for a while. You are either meant to help them with your soothing presence or finish some left-over karma with that soul.

I have felt resentment toward certain people that I am sure surfaced from one of my previous lives. Trust me it happens; souls hold onto grudges. If given a chance, you should let go of any emotions that surface, and try to forgive and be forgiven. Some people are just plain toxic in every lifetime and you may be better off getting rid of them. If you are an energy worker, you will learn to assess the energy surrounding a person and how to protect your own. Personally, I think everyone is an energy worker, they just haven’t tapped into their potential yet.

Just because you instantly feel that ‘connection’ with someone, do not feel obligated to believe they are the ones. I am not saying they can’t be, but do not just blindly believe that. Every relationship is flawed and you will get to that point sooner or later. Just remember that even if you found each other, you still need to put in the work to sustain it.

I apologize if you were hoping for a cheesy outcome or sappy revelations, but I am more practical than romantic. My objective is to identify, not to grow attached. Yes, I believe in instant connections but they are not necessarily ‘magical’. Yes, I believe in soul mates but not in the idea of them being the best or the only one for us. But most of all, I refuse to believe that recognition is the key to forming a real connection. Just because your soul recognizes another soul from ‘before’ does not put a stamp on your connection being real. It just gives you a head start. Now is the time to put that mind and gut to good use and ensure that you are making the right choice.

Now tell me, do you really believe in love at first sight?